New Year!!!!!

Wow can't believe it is a new year already. Last year was wild. Had fun, had tragity, had ups and had downs. Lets hope this year is full of more fun, less tragic and lost more ups then downs.

Lots has happened in the past year. I took care of grandma and lost her. I bought a truck and lost it do to a break up. I signed up to go back to school and start in January. I am pretty excited. I am making a new start for my life and enjoying. Things are starting to look up in my life and I love it. I went back to work earlier then I usually do. They say we may be there until the end of November. But who knows.

Contribute 2009 : Big Help for Small Business

Contribute 2009 : Big Help for Small Business

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New Life Dicission

Ok, So I have made the decision to move in and take care of my 91 year old grandma. She has had a major decline in health and they say a little delutional. I have decided to give up my life as I know it to take care of her. She has said for many years that she just wants to be at home when she dies and for the past six months or more she has asked me to live there because it was going uncared for and she didn't like that. So I am doing my best to give her what she wants. I moved in back in June and have been working at cleaning the house up. She has had over 30 years of what we all think of as JUNK and we had to clean it out. I rented a 15 yard dumpster and we filled it up FULL of yard clippings as well of most of the junk that we could remove from the house. It still has a lot of work left but we want to leave it as close to how she remembers it as we could because it is her home.

She has been staying at a care center pretty much since december. She fell and broke her hip just before christmas and hasn't really recovered. Back in April she got sick and had to have quite a bit of her intestines removed. They didnt' think she would make it through the surgery and she did but she didn't come out of it herself. She has just in the past week had to have Hospice come in and take care of her there at the care center. They have agree'd that she would be happier to be home.

We have made arrangements to have her come home on wednesday. I have hurt my back when I was closing the dumpster and have been limited to what I can do. I don't think the house is ready for her but I am. I know it isn't going to be easy and I know that it will be a life changing expreience but I also think it will be worth it. I love her and I know she would do the same for me if the roles were reversed.

I will attempt to keep this updated on what is going on with the whole thing. As of right now its been said that she could last anywhere from a couple days to a couple months. Most people think she will be gone by christmas. I bet she waits until after the first of the year. We'll see. I am not sure what kind of help I am going to be getting from the family. I am expecting to be here doing it ALL pretty much alone. Hospice will be coming in to help me twice a week but for the majority I will be on my own taking care of her and my three kids.. WOW I hope I can do it!

March 29

Well this month started out like a lamb ending like a lion. I went back to work, grandma was let out of the hospital and got to go home, then the next day went back to the hospital for not responding and they found out she had pneumonia. She is not in a care center and holding her own but not totally there.

I am doing wonderful at work. However I have had some financial troubles and have ended up giving up my home ( I was renting so it wasn't to bad) and have moved in with my parents which is also a good thing because now my mom has pneumonia and I can be here to help her when she needs it.

I was able to pay my car off FINALLY, and hopefully not having a rent payment I can get things back on track and get a nice place of my own.

Hope Everyone else has has a better March. I'll try to keep you updated on how life is going for me and my kiddo's as they happen.

Feb, 9

Wow. What a weekend this was. I thought it was going to be a quiet one but it was NOT.

It started out slow, Shane asked to come and see me I said yes. I miss him and we wanted to be friends. So he came over and hung out for a little bit with me and the kids. It was nice. Saturday he asked me a few questions that made me think he was ready to discuss what really happened to us so I asked him to come back and he did. We discussed what happened to ruin what we had and resulted in me asking him to leave. We both we sad but both glad to get it out. He informed me that he loves me and didn't realize how much until this past week how much he did and how much he had messed things up for us because of how he felt the need to exscape from everything.

He is currently detoxing from drugs and alcohol and smoking. His body is under so much stress from detoxing that he is in full panic attack mode. He was living at some friends house and feeling guilty or something about all that they have done for him but that he can't do anything to repay them back and so that wasn't helping. Saturday night he called me and asked if he could come back over. I said yes and he started to cry and I knew something was wrong. When he got here, he told me how his friend threw a fit over him wanting to be with me and told him it was the worst place for him because she was the one taking care of him not me. Well that wasn't because I didn't want to. It was because she wouldn't let me. I tried many times and go no where and he was so out of it that he couldn't tell her what he wanted or didn't want.

So after he gets here his mom called and he just started crying again, he couldn't talk he all but fell to the floor. She talked him out of his panic attack and got him to calm down, I hadn't seen him in a full blown attack and so I didn't know how to talk him out of them. I could hear her say they were on their way to get him, at first I was totally confused and thinking he had called them to come and get him but then came to me, but then she asked what she had called for and couldn't remember and then at the sametime I realized it, she said I guess I just had a feeling you needed me. They showed up and he couldn't even get out of the chair he was in his mom came in and talking him through it and got him to breath and he started to feel better. They took him home with them and told him that they thought it was best if he moved in with them for a while and he agree'd.

During Saturday's talk he had asked me why I never came to see him and I explained to him I couldn't come and see him because I wasn't welcome there and even if they told me I was welcome I didn't feel welcome and so Iwouldn't come see him. I let him know if he had moved to his parents I would have come to see him.

Sunday Shanes sister had a baby and we had made arrangments that I would babysit for her while she was in the hospital for the oldest. So when Shanes mom text me to let me know that the baby was born and the weight and all I congradulated them and asked how Shane was. So she called to let me know what that he handed over his phone to her the night before because he had to hang up on his friend. I went to dinner with my family and she (the friend) called me and got upset when she found out that I already knew. I tried to explain to her that I had other arrangements with the family and I just happen to ask about him but her comment was why do they call the ex girlfriend and not the one he is living with. I then told her that I don't think in their eyes I am the ex girlfriend I am just not the one he is living with at the moment and that didn't go over well. She continued to turn everything I said in to blaming me for what he is going through. I told her that I think the best thing for him right now was for both of us to let him go and let him decided what and who he needs or wants in his life. I have done just that. I don't text him unless he texts me. He calls me I don't call him. But she won't do that and I hate that she can't. I hate that she won't give him the space to heal the way he needs to. I hope that he has the strength to push her away so that he can heal and not have the guilt that she is putting on him.

He text me later in the evening and asked how I was doing. I told him good and that I talked to his friend he then called me and asked me what was said. I told him and he said that he can't believe he was so blinde to how much of a freak that she has become and that he was sorry for putting me though that. I told him not to worry about it to just worry about getting himself better so that he can move on with a happier and healthy life.

I suggested saturday that he had his dad give him a blessing to help me get through his pain and suffering that he is going through and he told me last night that when they got back to their house his dad gave him a fathers blessing and he said that it helped and then yesterday because his brothers had come to celebrate the birth they we able to help his dad give him another blessing. He said that he has never felt so spiritual as he had since that blessing. And that he felt that he had so much support behind him so he knew he could over come what he was going through. I was glad to hear that.

He told me how much he wants to be with me and that he wants to be sober for it all. I told him I'd just be happy with the person he was when I met him and he said that he could be better then even that person. I told him I couldn't wait to meet Sober Shane. He kept telling me how much he loved me and how much he appreciated that I was still here for him through this tough time. I told him that I loved him and that I could still see us sitting there when we are older and watching our grand babies playing. I feel that we are closer to each other now then we have been in a long time.

Ok. I have blabbered on long enough. that was such an eventfull weekend wasn't it. Glad it is over but really is it over!

January 30, 2009

Wow. Last night was a blast. I hosted a Slumber Party. Everyone but one person showed up that had RSVP'd. Some brought friends and we had lots of laughs.

We're ready for the weekend. It came so fast not that I am complaining. I spent all week scrubbing my house down for the party and so I guess that helped it go by faster. I am so proud of my girls for getting their own rooms cleaned before the party. Genni's is usually clean until Koda goes in there lol. Erica's is NEVER clean I'm going to take a picture and every time it gets messy I am going to pull the picture out and say I want it to look like this. I know you can do it.

Now I just need to figure out what I am doing for the weekend. Hope everyone has a great one!

January 26 2009

Wow, this month has just shot by. Not a very adventurous month of us. I am still not working yet. I called last Thursday and they are calling people back but only at like 67 and I am 256 So I have a while. They said they are calling about 30 back twice a week. So hopefully I will be back before Valintines. I could use the break from home life. I know if freaks people out when they see I am a stay at home mom who is single lol. Not the usual Single mom right. Well I am able to do that because I get the Survior benifits from Danny when he died. I only work at I.R.S. So that we have REALLY good health insurance because you know kids you need to have it.

I am getting tired of the snow and cold weather. Mother Nature played a really dirty trick on us letting it warm up and then freeze us again lol. I love seeing it snow I love playing in it a little, But I am not a skier, I am not a boarder and so I prefer the warm weather so that I can go to the beach and have fun there.

My Scentsy Business was booming, This month it too a MAJOR dive. I haven't put one order in, I am a little saddened by it. I am trying to put together a quicky party for Valentines on Friday Jan, 30th. But not sure it will get much response. If you haven't gotten your invite you are welcome to come just give me a call or send me a message and I can give you the info. Or even if you just want to place an order you can go to my site, WWW.SCENTSY.COM/13301 .

I am also hosting a Slumber party if you would like to come it is this thrusday the 29th at 6:03. It is going to be so fun.

I have been trying to keep myself busy the past week. I have had a kind of hard situation that I am still not 100% sure of. Shane went in to have surgery (he had to have a bump on the inside of his nose removed and then they removed his tonsiles) and I have been trying to figure out what I am to him lately. We have been together for 2 1/2 years and in November I finally had enough of him doing nothing but sleeping and not working and kicked him out of the house. I still love him but it's hard enough as it is trying to keep myself and my three kids a going he expected me to take care of him and his kids and get nothing in return.

He came to me about two weeks before I kicked him out and made the comment I owe you so big I'll have to marry you and take care of you. Well we had talked about getting married before and both of us had agree'd that we didn't need to be married. He needs to get his divorced finalized before we could even do anything if we wanted to. But anyway so I wasn't really sure that he meant what he said or if he was just joking. Well one of his friends has commented that I am still his girlfriend but yet his friends wife thinks I am the ex. His mom on the other hand still has the pictures up of our families together and us as a couple like we are still seeing each other (I am still friends with them all) and so when I ask him what I am I don't get a reponse. He is currently living with his friend and his wife and so I can't go by them because one thinks I am and one thinks I'm not. UGH.

So I decided that while he is down from his surgery I was going to get out and have some fun and get MYSELF back and so I have. He texted the other day wanting to know what I was doing that night. I told him what I was doing and he asked why we didn't do that when we were together. I told him that he was always going to poker and never checked if I wanted to go and so I never felt like I was apart of it. and that had we been together now I would have totally had him go with me and we would be hanging out together. (When he was living with me and he worked he would work Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday 7:30 am to 6:00 pm. So by the time he is getting home he is exhausted from working a 12 hour shift and eats and then went to bed. On the days off he would sleep and then get up around 6 pm and then at 8 he would say he was going to hang out at his friends house. So I started wondering what the crap, I can stay home and take care of mine and his kids and he gets to go out and play I don't think so). I don't know if he is having issues with the fact that I CAN go and do things now or just the fact that now that he is not around I am doing things. But honestly I just recently reunited with my girlfriends after somewhere around 13 years. I have been having a blast getting to know them again and getting out kids together and just having FUN. I tried to explain that to him but I don't think he understood that they really weren't in my life after I got pregnant only because one I couldn't go and do anything because the babies daddy wouldn't help out, and with Shane well he was never around and if he was he was usually sleeping and so I didn't right leaving my kids with him to watch when they would really be watching themselves.

So am I right to have more or less left him while he was down. I don't text him unless he texts me first. I haven't gone to see him since Wednesday. And when I did I kissed him on the forehead (his nose was to sore for me to try on the lips) and said GOODBYE. But I don't think he heard me because he text me an hour later saying he was sorry he fell asleep while I was there. But I still did it, It wasn't easy for me I still love him and would LOVE to see him get his life where it needs to be and we could be together but the way I see it sleep in his number 1 priority and his friends were his number 2 and I came in last and I didn't think that was very fair. I commented on it a lot and he would always tell me that they came after me but he never proved it to me.

Ok ok enough whineing. No I don't want cheese with it. lol.

So this past weekend I had a blast I went to my friend Yvettes brother in laws house warming party and go Wasted. I wasn't planning to go to the party because he (the brother in law) is trying to get with me and I didn't want him to think that I was there for him because I have no intrest in him but Bill and Yvette told me to get out of the house and come have some fun so I did. They had some friends there some I knew some I didn't. We had fun. Ron (one of the friends I knew who was bar tending) got mad when I left I didn't drive one of the friends Vinny drove me in my car with my kids to Yvettes which was just around the corner, Yvette and I were going to walk but it was cold and so I decided to take the ride. We stayed the night there. Hung out all day Saturday. I was exhausted all day yesterday not getting into bed before 3 the two nights before.

I have lots to do today I need to start scrubbing my home down it's amazing how three kids can destroy a house in such a small amount of time! I think I can get my house together before my parties. It's definately not as bad as I use to let it get. I love this place and I found it on my own and so I think that helps me. My other places my husband found for me and decorated it for me and I had no say in the way it looked and I didn't like that.

I am a very independent woman and I know what I like and don't like and I guess that is probably why I don't get along very long with guys. Danny and I were together for ten years (we spent our tenth anniversary (Sept 16th) in the hospital because he was having back surgery he came home and recovered and on Sept 25th He passed away. The Death Certificate stated he had a drug poisioning, clogged artery and he was obese. He was 5'11" and at his last dr appointment he weighed in at 211. I don't think he was obese. He was over 300 lbs when we married June 4, 2002 so I think he was in better shape then he was then.

Ok I am rambling, If you actually read all of this THANK YOU.

What a weekend

Well it started out kinda slow and crazy. Erica had asked grandma if she could sleep over friday and then Genni asked to sleep over at my brothers so she went over there. Koda said that he and I were having a date night, LOL What a cute kids. So We had dinner and went home to bed. Saturday I took my car to my dad and he fixed it. YAY Bambi is running normal again Whoo Hoo. (Yes I named my car and Yes I know that Bambi is a boy but you know what I liked it lol)
Then we went to a friends house and had dinner and played games and it was so nice to get out of the house. I haven't left much since New Years.

January 3 2009

Well we have successfully started a new year. We at the Richardson home are all healthy and happy.

I think we all had a great christmas. They all might not have gotten exactly what they asked for but they seem happy with what they did get. I am trying to teach them that christmas is more about family and friends then it is about gifts.

Not a whole lot of news to tell. I am still working for the Gornment and selling Scentsy. I am having a Slumber Party on the 29th of January and any Woman 18 and older are welcome to come. Let me know if you are interested in coming or even if you want to place an order but can't make it to the party.

Dec. 12 2008

Ok I am going to try my hand at this. Wish me luck...